


heartfelt confession

by mysteryguest



Series: Mumbo and Iskall [4]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Bigender Mumbo, Coming Out, Lowercase, M/M, NB Iskall, Non-Binary Iskall, and the rules say iskall and mumbo nb royalz, listen. i do not make the rules i just recite them, minecraft personas ONLY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23538703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysteryguest/pseuds/mysteryguest
Summary: it shouldn't come as a surprise to iskall, he thinks, when he finally settles on a term that feels just right. and yet, it is.and it's dreadful, feeling that urge, that need to tell someone, without knowing if they would accept you or not.at least he knows the person he can trust the most with this info is his boyfriend, mumbo.
Relationships: Iskall/Mumbo, Mumbo Jumbo/Iskall85, Mumbo/Iskall, iskall85/mumbo jumbo
Series: Mumbo and Iskall [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628998
Comments: 12
Kudos: 145





	heartfelt confession

\---

it dawns on him during a restless night of working on his omega tree base- he's stripping some logs near the roots of the tree when it just... clicks.

he hadn't even been thinking of anything to do with gender identity, and yet, when he sets his axe down to crack his knuckles, he pauses.

_non-binary._

the term had popped into his mind several times before, though he'd been too fixated on finding such an extremely specific, perfect fit for how he felt that he saw the words "umbrella term" and never stopped to look into it any more.

but suddenly, without reason, his mind had wandered and picked up the term, and something seemed to stick.

for a while, he'd just given up completely on finding something that matched how he felt, because _nothing seemed to feel right._

he'd just gone along with everyone thinking he was cis, even though it felt awful to be called a man, even though it felt awful to see people looking at him weirdly when he wore a dress- _he was just trying to be comfortable in his own skin-_

_phew_. breathe, iskall.

where was he? oh, right.

his mind wandered a lot, to the point where his own thoughts were a sort of background noise, so it really shouldn't have come as a surprise when a word he hadn't thought too much about suddenly popped into his mind.

pulling a face, iskall pushed it to the back of his mind, zipped up his vest, rolled his sleeves down, and began stripping down more logs as he'd first intended to do.

he would just... research it a bit more later.

for no reason other than curiosity, he's sure.

it was just curiosity, when he began looking into people describing how it felt to be non-binary.

it was just curiosity, when he looked back at other gender identities he used to test with, and none of them clicked like how being non-binary did.

it was just curiosity, when he looked at the non-binary flag, when his chest welled with emotion as he realized he found something that felt right for once.

he didn't understand how he could've possibly missed this- he'd danced along with countless genders, from boyflux to agender, from demigender to genderfluid, and yet none of them clicked, somehow.

it felt nice, at first- it felt _wonderful_ , at first.

and then came the realization.

he would have to actually _tell_ people about it, now, wouldn't he?

it would be nice, to not be misgendered. it would be nice, to use a few feminine terms here and there, or a few neutral terms, instead of "man" or "mister".

but how would the other hermits react to his coming out?

they're good, accepting people, iskall knows this.

he also knows that there's always a possibility for someone to not be, too.

slowly growing anxious by the second, he takes flight into the sky and makes his way towards mumbo's base.

when the bamboo hill came into view, he had half a mind to turn on his heel and run back, maybe even ignore his own identity for convenience sake.

though he knew he'd feel awful, if he didn't at the very least take a few baby steps forward.

...and then maybe never take anymore steps after that, but hey! the important thing was that he tried.

and even as his heart swelled in his throat, even as his hands were shaking as he knocked on the wall as he entered, he knew he had to do this.

if he couldn't find it in himself to let anyone know, he could at least tell his other half of his own identity.

mumbo came down in few seconds time, smiling at him as he climbed down from upstairs.

"iskall!" he hummed gleefully, cheeks a rosy red. "how're you? you should've told me you'd come to visit..." he added with a sheepish smile.

iskall returned a smile as best he could, noticing that mumbo's hands were coated in faint traces of redstone.

his smile softened, and he let out a half-sigh, half-chuckle.

"you really need to start wearing gloves, mumby..." he mused, tense shoulders drooping as he stared at his partner with a cheesy smile.

"well, i will when i can find a pair! haha," mumbo laughed nervously, wringing his fingers together, flustered. "well, enough about that, then. did you need something, man?" he asked with a bright smile.

iskall tensed up once more, grin tightening as he laughed nervously, hiding his shaky hands in the pockets of his vest.

mumbo took notice nearly instantly, smile falling as he stared at iskall with concern.

_(it had always been so easy to ignore any masculine nicknames, so why now was his discomfort so noticeable?)_

"uh, well- you, um, y'know the-" he stuttered, suddenly finding the ground much more interesting than mumbo's peering eyes. "uh- i'm... not."

"i- huh?" mumbo replied, head tilted to the side. "not... what?"

"the- uhm... i'm not a-" iskall held back a strangled noise in his throat, coughing out the last word. "...man."

mumbo is silent, eyes widening.

"i-i- i'm, um," iskall continues talking, and _why does he continue talking, he's only going to make it worse-_ "non- non-binary...?" he finishes shakily

iskall regrets the awkward words that fumble out of his mouth the moment he says them, cringing as he prepared for the worst.

he prepared for mumbo to laugh or play it off as a joke, or to tell him just because he liked looking masculine _had_ to mean he was a guy, right?

and then...

and then he felt mumbo's arms wrap around him, carefully and lovingly.

iskall choked up, hesitantly hugging him back, tense and unsure.

"i'm so proud of you," mumbo whispered softly in his ear, rubbing his back comfortingly. "that must've been hard for you, and i'm so, so proud of you. i love you for you, dear, no matter what, okay?"

the tears come faster than iskall would've expected them too, and in a few seconds his body is shaking as he chokes back a sob.

mumbo doesn't let go of him, whispering sweet nothings in his ear and pressing gentle kisses against his face.

everything seems so surreal, so so great- _too_ great, all of a sudden.

iskall buries his face into mumbo's shoulder, holding on tightly to him, as if he would disappear should he let go.

\---

when iskall finally calms himself down, the two of them end up sitting on mumbo's bed, blanket wrapped around them and mugs of hot chocolate in their hands.

mumbo finally decides to break the silence, turning to look at iskall with red cheeks and a soft, kind smile.

"so..." he began, bumping his shoulder with iskall's gently. "do you have any preferred name, or do you still like going by iskall?" he asks quietly, patiently; careful not to pry too much out of iskall all at once.

"i- um..." iskall starts, unable to hold back the flustered smile that grows on his face. "i-iskall is fine, still. thanks for um, for asking. and, um, before i forget, i'm- i'm fine with the term 'boyfriend', too."

"of course, honeybee," mumbo replies, pressing a kiss onto iskall's shoulder. "what about any other pronouns?"

iskall pauses, smile falling into a thoughtful frown as he hummed.

being called 'him' never felt wrong or bad on most days (sure, there were a few days here and there which felt otherwise), but... was he supposed to use different pronouns? could he only use one set of them?

he repeats his thoughts to mumbo, who chuckles gently, shaking his head.

"you don't have to use other pronouns if you're comfortable with what you already use. but sometimes you can use multiple pronouns- i do too, actually!" he replies, smiling brightly.

"you- you do?" iskall asks dumbly, guilt swelling up in his gut. "i- sorry if i ever-"

"oh, no no no! don't feel bad about it at all, dear. i don't usually mention it too much to- well, anyone, really," mumbo begins, humming thoughtfully. "mostly because i'm a bit of both, i suppose? both binary genders, i suppose- it's called bigender, i think. it's never bothered me, being called a guy- or boyfriend, by the way- and the likes, so i never really bring it up. its more of a personal thing- to me, anyways."

iskall makes a small sound of understanding, nodding his head.

"well, ah- thanks for, telling me." he hummed, leaning into mumbo's side- how in the world did mumbo manage to use all the right words a mere few minutes ago, and he sounded awkward as all hell?

"oh, of course!" mumbo replied, smiling down at iskall and pressing a kiss against his forehead. "so, as i was saying, it's perfectly normal to use different sets of pronouns interchangeably. i think i have some pronoun pins around here somewhere, too..."

"pronoun pins?" iskall asked, raising an eyebrow. "like... pins with different pronouns on them?"

"yep! it's good for if you wanna let people know what pronouns to use for you without having to- well, say it." mumbo replied, nodding.

iskall hummed thoughtfully, biting his lip.

would it be weird to use she/her pronouns? even though he looked like a g- masculine.

_he just looked masculine._

turns out, its a lot harder to not misgender yourself than iskall thought it would be.

"could- um... this sounds weird, but," iskall started, laughing nervously. "could you... like, talk about me in a sentence using um... using, she and her pronouns?" he asked meekly, cheeks flushing with sudden embarrassment.

"of course, love!" mumbo grinned, clearing his throat dramatically, giving iskall a eyebrow wiggle- (at least he got iskall to laugh.) "iskall is a very beautiful, handsome, and gorgeous person and i love her so very much! she's the loveliest person in the world."

iskall hides his face (and smile) behind his mug, face flushed a deep red.

other than the, honestly sweetest thing he's ever heard, coming out of mumbo's mouth, being called she actually...

felt really nice?

"that, um-" iskall starts, voice cracking, and he's sure he looks like a beetroot by now. "felt... good, actually? nice- it felt, um, nice."

mumbo smiled softly at him, setting down his mug gently, and turns to look at iskall completely.

"you're adorable," mumbo hums, and gently pulls on iskall's hands, bringing the mug down form his face. "the most wonderful person in the world."

iskall forgot how amazing it felt, just for a moment, to not be called 'man', or 'dude', or 'guy', and before he realizes it, he's tearing up again.

he could never forget how even more amazing mumbo is, though.

he takes iskall's face into his hands, and presses a soft kiss against his lips, wiping away his tears.

"i mean every word," he mumbles, tracing along the faint freckles upon iskall's face. "you really are so wonderful, no matter what."

iskall leans into his touch, smile wobbly as he sniffs and holds back more tears, and he doesn't remember the last time he's felt so happy- the last time he's felt as though everything was perfect.

_(aside from meeting mumbo, that is.)_

they spend the remainder of the day and night enjoying each other's touches and "i love you"s, confiding in each other and themselves, sharing tears and smiles.

they hold each other close like they are each other's whole world, and they stare at each other as if they were staring at infinite beauty and grace.

they silently agree, that without a doubt in their minds, everything will be okay as long as the other is there with them.

a heartfelt confession, as it seems, is all it took to feel so _free_.

\---


End file.
